Negotiating on an Off Day: How to Stay Effective When You’re Not at Your Best

A few weeks ago, our beloved Dalmatian, Loki, passed away at home. After ten brilliant years with him, it was an incredibly sad day for our family.

In the days that followed, I wasn’t at my best - unfocused, forgetful, and woolly-headed. It made me reflect: with more than 10,000 people I’ve trained, how often have I met someone at the start of a programme without knowing what else was happening in their lives?

It struck me: in negotiation, we never really know what’s going on in someone else’s world. Sometimes they’re sharp; sometimes they’re not. And sometimes, that person is us.

So, what happens when you’ve got an important negotiation planned and you’re not firing on all cylinders?

Postpone or Delay

Check in with yourself and be honest - it may be better for everyone if the meeting can be rearranged.

Think Team (if you can)

Negotiation often works best as a team sport. With up to 27 different tasks to perform, dividing roles helps you concentrate on where you can add the most value.

No team option? Then:

• Prioritise the few tasks that matter most.

• Use planning frameworks to reduce mental strain.

• Build in short breaks to reset your focus.

Double Down on Preparation

A recent LinkedIn poll suggests the biggest mistake people make in negotiation is a lack of preparation.

When we’re not at our best, it’s easy to lose objectivity - emotions take over, and small irritations get blown out of proportion. Using a planning framework can help you:

• Clearly articulate what you want.

• Identify where you can flex.

• Outline the strategy to meet your objectives.

Revisit and adjust this regularly. It keeps you on message, even when your judgment feels clouded.

Stay Curious

Research shows people spend about 90% of their time in the Explore phase - asking questions, listening, summarising, and disclosing. These behaviours build constructive dialogue, while arguing or posturing creates unnecessary friction.

If your judgment feels off:

• Slow the discussion down.

• Ask more questions.

• Stay curious.

Decisions can wait until you have a fuller picture.

Final Thought

Life throws curveballs. Recognising when you need support, accepting your off days, and focusing on what you can control are key.

In life - and in negotiation - strength isn’t about never faltering. It’s about knowing when to pause, lean on others, and stay curious until clearer thinking returns.

Anyone affected by pet bereavement can find support through organisations in the UK, such as Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Services and Cats Protection Paws to Listen service. There are also online resources like The Ralph Site.

September 4th 2025

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